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SamplesZoo StewI sat in a booth at my favorite café,But nothing looked good; I was feeling blasé. I waved to the waitress-said "Give me a clue. "Please help me-the menu is boring - I'm blue!" She said with a smile, "The special today Is one that will please the most jaded gourmet. I think you can bid all your doldrums adieu. This evening we feature zoo stew!" "Stop! Stop!" I leapt from my seat to exclaim Quite before the poor waitress could even explain, "You've broken my boredom - I know what I'll do. I really must have me a bowl of that stew!" She turned toward the kitchen, began to retreat, And assured me, "You'll like it; it's really a treat!" "But wait!" I cried out, "I know I need more! The stew will be great, but just stew is a bore!" I drew myself up, struck a pontifical pose, And mused "Something tasty - some Kangaroo toes! And Muskrat paté - plus some Antelope fries, An Octopus steak with a garnish of Flies, A nice roasted Yak nose tied up in twine, A fine side of Gnu knees pickled in brine, Some Peccary fritters on a bed of green grass, And Wolverine whiskers arrayed under glass." "I'm frightfully hungry - I beg you to hurry With Ocelot pilaf and Polar Bear curry, With Dikdik Alfredo and Moose ear fondue - And maybe Rhinoceros consommé, too - Some Mouse mousse on aspic, fried Chickadee legs, Hot Wallaby gravy on Platypus eggs, And Elephant tripe over thrice-boiled Shrew - And please! - don't forget that I still want the stew!" The waitress cried out and put her hands to her head, dropping both her order and a full basket of bread. She stared for a moment with jaw hanging slack, then "Help! Help!" she yelped to the cook in the back, "He's mad as a Magpie and lost as a Loon, He's wild as a Woodcock - crazed as a Raccoon! I say we have stew but just stew will not do; This guy wants to dine on the whole Wolfing zoo!" I followed behind her and said, "I'm inclined To have in addition a sweet-do you mind? I want a magnificent Tiger-tail cake, A creamy and cold Hippopotamus shake, With Bandicoot cobbler and Emu sorbet, And Coyote crumble and Condor flambé. To be daring, some Meerkat meringue would be nice, And to finish - a helping of Cockatiel ice." My waitress ran straight out the door with a bleat, And screamed as she sprinted away down the street, "I swear by the wing of a Bahrainian Bat, I swear by the tail of a Sumatran Rat! He's daft as a Dodo and hot as a Dog, He's cracked as a Kudu - odd as a Frog! I say we have stew but just stew will not do; This guy wants to dine on the whole Wolfing zoo!" It seems today I'll get no stew - Oh bother, whatever shall I do? Copyright © Geoffrey Skinner. All rights reserved. Please contact me for corrections or comments.
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